Sexy Moms Not Allowed

What is appropriate mom attire?

According to this article on Parent Society there are 15 looks anyone over the age of 35 (and a mother) should not be wearing. What are some of these looks?

Clubbing dresses like these bandage dresses that hug your curves and show off those extra unwanted ones:

Image result for bandage dress Image result for bandage dress Image result for strapless club dresses

You also should not wear midriff baring, strapless, or plunging necklines. We wouldn’t want to embarrass ourselves by having a Janet Jackson wardrobe malfunction, would we?

Also on the list:

High-waisted jeans because nothing says ‘frumpy’ like ‘mom jeans’:

Image result for high waisted jeans

But we’re also not supposed to wear lo-rise jeans either:

Image result for low-rise jeans

I mean, you don’t want that muffin-top spilling over them.

Micro skirts and hot pants with writing on the ass are also out.

Oh…and you know those tiaras that are so fun to wear? Yep. You aren’t allowed to be a princess either. According to the author tiaras are for little girls. And mismatched socks is just laziness.

So throw out all those distressed jeans, neon/floral/any hair accessories, impractical pumps, and tees that talk (you know the ones: “Daddy’s lil monster”, am I right?). You aren’t allowed to wear them anymore. You can’t pull off these young adult fashions and you look ridiculous.

So says the article.

Enough with this.

Firstly, I can wear anything I bloody well want to wear. As long as it makes me happy and I’m comfortable what does it matter? Will I look ridiculous? Maybe. But I’m not embarrassed. Why should I care if you are?

Secondly, I’d like to see your basis for comparison. What exactly should a *real* mom wear? Because, honey, I’m neither frumpy nor organic, and I certainly wouldn’t be caught dead in granny panties.

Thirdly, I didn’t lose 40 pounds (170+ to 130ish in four months) just to hide my curves behind loose fitting clothes (except when I’m pms’ing) because you’re more interested in body-shaming moms and women over 35 who aren’t in perfect shape.

Let’s get something straight. If I had a daughter and she wore hot pants with words like “juicy” on the butt, or a micro mini skirt (no matter what her age) I’d have no problem telling her that if she’s going to wear something like those items then she is allowing herself to be objectified. But if that’s what she wants, once she’s an adult she has the right to wear them. Just as I did. Just as I do now. That doesn’t mean I’m going to go out dressed like some futuristic bleached blonde disco ball to the Met Gala, but I most certainly will wear something that makes me feel confident and sexy.

Chrissy Tiegen, whom I love for being outspoken, honest, and blunt, caught a lot of heat a few months ago when she posted a *nude* pic on Instagram. Chrissy, who had a baby last year and is just now getting her pre-baby body back, looked utterly fantastic and comfortable, and modest. She wasn’t sitting with her breasts and vagina exposed; her breasts were covered by her arm and leg and you don’t even really see cleavage. There’s simply some side boobage and bare skin from her leg and arm. Yet people in the comments had some very close-minded and judgmental things to say. For example, one person said that because of her indecency she doesn’t deserve to have a decent husband. Another said she should put on some clothes and think of her daughter (don’t even get me started on that one). One commentator even said that he couldn’t believe that her husband would be okay with her showing her body like that (as if she needs his permission to a) take the pic and b) post it.) Yet another person in an incredibly ironic comment told her that she looks amazing as always but that she should “be beautiful as you are naturally”, i.e., in clothing.

So here’s my final answer: Wear whatever the hell you want no matter what age you are or whether you’ve got some extra curves. You moms deserve to feel sexy as sin and if you don’t feel that way then go out and buy yourself something that will make your partner’s jaw drop, and flaunt it. You ladies who are extra luscious are just as gorgeous, too. Age be damned.

❤ Jesi

See also: Samara Speaks’s Short Dress; Four Princesses and the Cheese’s 2017 Mom Trends; Harper’s Bazaar’s Chic New Moms

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11 thoughts on “Sexy Moms Not Allowed

  1. That’s right….you wear what you want to and screw what others think about it. Being confident in what you have on is hot!!!

    Like

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